Friday

 Jeremiah (20:10) said "I hear so many disparaging me. Terror from every side. Denounce him, let us denounce him. All those who used to be my friends watch for my downfall'..."But the Lord is at my side a mighty hero".

Like all creatures, people are fickle. Looking to each other for support or condolences is futile. We all have our own ajenders. Our own past and responsibilities. It's kind of weird that we worry at all about what others think.

Just for a joke I put on a wig and flicked off to a couple of people the picture.

One was convinced that I'd turned gay, and the other was terrified probably thinking I'd gone mad. No, we can not set our bar to the standards of others.  Over dependence on others is equally as undesirable. There's a mistake too in being impressed with another's career. I know teachers whose personal beliefs are bizarre, managers who can not see the truth in front of their nose, wine experts who think everyone should form their own morals and, of course, the playforia of  anti Catholic bigots who continually jump around Protestant churches thinking they'll find the answer in a group started by a man and not Jesus!

We must not put creatures before God for good reason. Jacob, in the old testament, had to learn this the hard way too. He was a con man, who conned his twin brother Esau twice. First out of his inheritance and then out of his father's blessing. But he learnt his lesson at the hands of his uncle, who conned him into working 20 years for him in return for the hand of Rebecca. Even after that Jacob went back to his old ways until he encountered God one night. 

It is said he wrestled with God all night. He finally succumbed in the morning when God struck him in the hip. Lashings of allegory here. Jacob stopped trying to bargain his way through life and put all his faith in God. And God didn't let him down. When he was finally face to face with his angry brother again, God softened his brother's heart and they hugged instead of continuing the old feud. Jacob became Israel which means God fights. I recently met an Israel. I think God was fighting there for me. That wouldn't have been a good path in hindsight. Yes, we are fickle. Let God lead, even if the path he leads us down is not the one we would have chosen.

I feel God's hand on my back

Recently I feel God is with me. Gently guiding me somewhere. 

Yes He has His chosen. Or maybe the chosen are those who submit. Those who submit without questions. Those who give themselves over to trust Him. Jacob had to learn to trust God. Had to submit to the over whelming strength of his brother Esue. When we put our trust in God we have no need to worry. He never expects anything of us He knows we can't handle. Sure we might feel a bit uncomfortable, out of our comfort zone, but this little effort will be worth the rewards. Like a parent releasing his  grip on a child's bicycle. The momentary panic quickly changes to exhilaration as it discovers a new freedom and pedals off at full speed laughing with glee.

Saturday. "Go away and do not sin again".

Had a lot of fun in D's garage yesterday with the bros.

There was no sin going on yesterday. Din maybe. 

Today's Gospel is about sin. You know it by heart. A woman gets caught committing adultery. I always wonder how she got caught. Were the pharisees peeking into people's bedrooms? Anyway they try to catch Jesus out. They must have known Jesus had a compassionate side. They give him an opportunity to comment on her sentence. Stoning to death. They want him to say 'don't'; when Jewish law says they should. But He is too smart to fall into their trap. He just starts scribbling in the dirt with a stick. Maybe he wrote THEIR sins in the sand. Maybe he just doodled and spoke to them all individually, mentally. Maybe it was just the Jesus factor. People get overwhelmed in His presence. Roman soldiers fall over when they try to arrest him. A woman is cured by just touching his garment. There is a power, an aura around Him. Anyway, nobody condemns her and the pharisees all leave. Jesus tells her to go and not sin again.

We have to be careful and not take this as him approving adultery.  Many Catholics seem to think adultery is alright. They are all the more guilty if they entice others into this sin too. Actually many people have an abysmal understanding of Church teachings on marriage. Some think that the Church recognizes civil divorce even. I wonder how culpable these people are. Priests don't seem to cover it in sermons. More than likely half the parishioners are in such relationships. Maybe they don't want to lose all that revenue. As a rule of thumb, if you are Catholic you have to marry a Catholic in the Catholic church. Romantic love though is a fickle beast. Most of us don't live up to the ideal. We get it wrong then spend years trying to patch it up. I'm not so sure the Church is right. It's just all so complicated that the average person simply doesn't understand the who, what and how of marriage.

"There was never anybody who has spoken like him". John 7:40

 Imagine a scenario:

There is a public disturbance in Lower Hutt city. Crowds have accumulated outside Queensgate Mall. Traffic is at a standstill. Shop owners are complaining and they call the cops. Two squad cars turn up. Sirens wailing, blue and red lights flashing. They see that the cause of the crowd is a man speaking. He is standing on a bench at the bus stop. His voice carries clearly over the hundreds of people listening. The four police people, two male and two female, listen. They stand still, clearly impressed. Eventually they look at each other and go back to their patrol cars and head back to the police station. The sergeant asks if they had got the situation under control. They shake their heads and look down. One says softly "There has never been anybody who has spoken like him".

That was the situation in today's Gospel. Instead of young police officers, imagine hardened Roman soldiers tasked with keeping peace in the newly occupied territories of Judah and Israel. They were amazed at the teaching of Jesus. It must have spoken to their hearts to return to the legionnaire without following the orders to disperse the crowd. To this day the word decimate originated from the Roman practise of killing every tenth soldier if there was cowardice or disobedience.

Back at the scene some of the crowd are arguing about who the teacher is. One suggests a prophet, others say maybe he is the Christ, the expected one. But someone says no,  "he came from Nazareth. The Christ will come from Bethlehem". We see how important correct interpretation of scripture is. We know that Jesus was born in Bethlehem, but his parents probably lived in Galilee. An easy mistake. "Prophets do not come from Galilee" The Pharisees said, and plotted to kill Jesus for blasphemy.

Those of us who are left.

 We are the survivors. We went through the trauma of watching a loved one die. Some of us have done this twice. Maybe a son died then a husband.  Maybe  a wife then a daughter. There are many permutations. But we have one thing in common. We had a relationship, maybe not necessarily happy, but a relationship nonetheless, then we watched it disintegrate. Gave up our jobs, interests, and sometimes friends, because we didn't have time anymore, or maybe we couldn't leave the house to visit.

Caregiving became our world. Often we had no idea what to do or what the future held. We learnt as we went. Sometimes learning to do things others would think unimaginable. We had no time for ourselves. No holidays. Sure they offered to send the sick one to a care facility for a week or two to give us respite. But we knew the loved one didn't want that. They didn't want to be in hospital either. They wanted familiarity. They wanted home. The mere fact that we did what we did meant that we were love. We were the embodiment of love. We were what it meant to love.

Eventually the end came. Mostly it was unexpected. Sooner than we expected. Sometimes it was inevitable, obvious. Maybe those were the hardest. We had to make a decision to stop the care, to approve more morphine than the body could cope with. To end the pain.

We have many regrets. We weren't perfect. Sometimes we went home for desperately needed sleep when the end came. Sometimes we weren't at the bedside for a crucial turn in events. A medical mistake. An unforseen intervention that was life changing. Only we can look each other in the eye and say 'yes that happened to me too, I wish....".

Of course we are scarred for life. Like a soldier who has experienced the unspeakable on the battlefield we are traumatized. Like veterans we only speak of it among ourselves. We have a special bond , those that are left. We understand the flashbacks. The sudden spasm of tears. 

The irony is that we would all do it again. Would it be easier a second time? I don't think so. But we would.

Heres to those that are left.  Heres to their 'happy places'. Heres to their search for someone, something to end the emptiness, the loss. Here's hoping they ascend the mountain. Find the treasure, the happy place at the summit which is Christ Himself. "Too low they build who build beneath stars". (Streams in the desert. Cowman).

A dilemma of dating sites

I've come across an interesting dilemma common to dating sites and intra vitro fertilization. What do you do with the human being you don't want?

Intra vitro fertilization is the artificial fertilization of an egg with a sperm in a laboratory. 

This makes a human being. The problem is that many more eggs are fertilized than needed. So what happens to the remainder? Sometimes they are frozen other times I expect the worst possible imaginable happens.

Dating sites tend to work on a similar principle. Unlike real life, it's possible to chat initially with several people, virtually simultaneously and separately. Eventually one will stand out and maybe you both meet and an attraction may or 

may not start to form. In a secular world it might be a case of dog eats dog. Sorry you other people I'm having nothing more to do with you. Bad luck. But a Christian, by definition is called to brotherly/ sisterly love. In these other people's life's you have become part of their routine. You probably text good morning and talk about breakfast and similarly in the evening say good night after discussing the events of the day. For all intents and purposes you have become friends. Now are you going to say to that friend  that you have no need for them anymore? Sorry, but I'm dating someone special and he/she doesn't want me talking to you? 

Unfortunately too you can't always get away from anti Catholic bigotry. I've had a couple of members come out hissing and roaring, spewing anti Catholic vitriol. In both cases I wrote longish replies and never heard back. I tick them off as 'wins' (in a sad way).

Another peculiar thing I have found on Christian sites are people that declare a lack of love for  another. Aren't we as Christians are called to love everyone and go the proverbial extra mile for them. So how can one say that they love everyone except this one person on the site? Maybe it just needs rephrasing somehow; but I find it odd.

In conclusion I have found inconguities within Christian dating sites and Christ's teachings. In the search for a compatible companion brotherly/sisterly  love can be left at the door. How do we avoid this?

Work out from the start if  people are to be just friends or potential marriage prospects. 

Get an agreement with the other on this. If just friends then you can form multiple such relationships.

If the other then you can have only one of these at a time; though friendships may remain.